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robert

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it's been a minute [30 Jul 2008|08:12pm]
I haven't updated this shit for a while.

Maybe I should fill y'all in a the happenings?

mathletes have a full lineup and we are going to Minneapolis on Aug 23rd for 16 days to do a record. we're working with producer Jordan Schmidt (sing it loud, all time low, morning light, jamestown story) and basically, we're going to be your new favorite band...

...or maybe your kid sister's favorite band.

I'm really excited about this. It's nice to have something to look forward to for once. Greg will not be joining Chris, Ryan, Brian, and I in the studio and Ryan has to leave after a week, so only me, Chris and Brian will be there for the entire recording process. We will be making a little youtube video while we are up there aside from partying, exploring sex world, and roller blading through mall of america in our ducks jerseys.

This friday Ryan is joining Chris and I at Milwaukee's warped tour and I would be lying if I said I wasn't stoked. I'm going to go broke.

Aside from this happening this summer has been pretty uneventful. I haven't really kicked it with anyone I thought I would. I guess people got shit to do. Also, females be buggin'! Get it together.

I went to soul veg yesterday with faggy Ryan and we ate too much. I feel gross. I talked basketball with a cool dude on the red line and fell in love with a black girl. Too bad I was talking to the dude...
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weezin' the juice. [21 Jan 2008|12:50pm]
[ mood | restless ]

I am nervous and restless like a motherfucker.
I don't really know why. I end up laying in bed awake all night not really thinking about much at all. I need to start sedating myself in order to sleep.
I hope good things are around the corner for me. I think I need to do something big. Something that is very unlike classic me. I need to shock myself. Perhaps, I will feel better.

Last night Chris and I sat around working on the best song ever written. I will just leave it at that.

Saturday is ROH. PUMPED.

School is shitty but it has its moments. I don't really think I've done any actural work yet. How I manage to get great grades is beyond me. I really could give a stroke about any of this.

I've had throwing bricks by Ceremony in my head all fucking morning.

I'm going to throw this fucking bottle as hard as I can, hope it hits you in the teeth and make you learn your lesson.
It's dog eat dog in a place like this.
This hard luck life sucks so I use my fists.
I've got a chip on my shoulder.
I'm on a losing streak.
There's a cloud of contempt hanging over me, because it's dog eat dog in a place like this.
Every man for himself so I use...
I'm going to throw this fucking bottle as hard as I can, hope it hits you in the teeth and make you learn your lesson.
It's dog eat dog in a place like this.
This hard luck life sucks so I use...
my fists...


fuck.

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"let ol' buster here do a line off your boner?" [11 Jan 2008|05:57pm]
[ mood | lonely ]

school is in full swing and i could give two shits about it.

met some alright people thus far, but i think i have enough friends at this point.

school is a bore...let's move along.

been thinking more and more about when i finally went to leave this city. sooner rather than later i hope. i need to get my act together and make a big change. i feel like everything around me is just an attempt by others to hold me back. i guess it's a really paranoid way of looking at things, but it's how i feel.

been feeling different lately. 2008 has been CRAZY so far. honestly kids, i wish i could blow my load all over you all and spill the beans about the latest haps of Mr. Lange...but i'll save that for another time.

nights of no sleep and time with friends. sitting around eating cereal with chris and watching curb your enthusiasm.

my bronchitis is back this winter and it's brutal. mainly because i had the flu last month, so now my lungs feel like they are about to collapse every time i take a breath.

brian mailed the british office to my house for my birthday. that was really nice of him. i am seeing that brown d00d tomorrow.

wish i got to see everyone once more before they headed back to their schools and veronica before she goes to rome.

in other news, the sand doom beach gang video on youtube will be at 10,000 plays in a week. that is really fucking crazy and i can't understand it one bit.

well, i am going to go take a shower, listen to some testament, and kick it with chris and black ass tim on the couch for a while.

2 comments|post comment

patrick stump [05 Jan 2008|07:47pm]
[ mood | dorky ]

Shit has been kind of crazy lately. Loads of shit in the haps both good and bad.

However, this is ALL GOOD.

Patrick Stump on Law and Order

He's so fat now. It's awesome.

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2007 [28 Dec 2007|11:16pm]
[ mood | lonely ]

Shit hasn't been going my way much as of late. I'm not too stoked about much of anything.

Wake me up in the spring.

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[10 Dec 2007|09:29am]
[ mood | bored ]



Whenever I get sad I can just listen to Mike Shank talk and I will feel 1000x better. :)


Things have been gay lately. Hopefully they will be on the up and up sooner rather than later. Also, Chris Hatem moves in veeeery soon. Bring us gifts.

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Insomniac [16 Aug 2007|12:44am]
[ mood | geeky ]

I meant to update my journal Sunday night after a long weekend of shooting. I swear that this weekend of work kicked my ass. I felt really shitty on Monday after not eating all weekend. I think it was the fact that I didn't drink any water that really did me in.

Friday Brian came up and we watched footage from our previous session of shooting. It all looked pretty good. I can't put into words how pleased I am with two things from that weekend-the performances of both Mickey and Chris were brilliant. After that we sat down and planned the following day of shooting while listening to Jesu and getting to' up on Whiskey. That was nice. I love sitting on the porch at night with the radio playing. I wish I had enough friends around constantly to do that more often. The end of the night was kind of a big blur. I drank too much and I definitely got on the phone and talked like a sausage to everyone in the universe.

Saturday morning we woke up really early and made smoothies because we are gay. Actually, it was a smart thing to do because other than that neither Brian or I ate again until late that evening. We shot some scenes with LA Eddie Gunz and it went swimmingly. After we got some other crucial scenes done--mainly things from Episode 3, where Rob quits. I was pleased to see that the "In-movie" scene that I wrote worked out. I basically stole a line from a Smiths song and had Lincoln write his name on Elizabeth's arm with a big heart around it as a surprise gift. The scene turned out great because in the script, the male lead doesn't show up so Brian fake-Shemp's the scene. Basically, Brian is sitting there with a hideous wig pretending to fill in for a missing actor and delivering some great improv. I almost laughed out loud right here: (it might not seem funny in text)

Brian: Baby, I've got a surprise for you.
Elizabeth: What is it?

BRIAN pulls out a marker and begins to scrawl on ELIZABETH'S arm.

Brian: My name with a fucking heart around it.

Then he basically tries to fuck her brains out.

Saturday night was nice. We were able to make it down for Chris' show in Orland Park. The ride up and back was a lot of fun. The show itself was small, but seeign Chris is all that mattered. Between You and Me's new stuff is fantastic. Seriously. After the show Mickey and Brian came back to my place. We drank a few beers and watched the footage from earlier in the day. Chris came by for a while and we talked for a bit before he and Mick left. Brian and I stayed up way too late watching wrestling.

Sunday was a very good day. We went up to David's house bright and early. Everyone basically showed up on time except Will, but that was ok. We didn't need him right away anyway. It was our first and only time shooting with Bella. We were able to knock out all of her scenes with the exception of one on Sunday. I think that last scene will need to get changed due to some issues we had this past Tuesday trying to get ahold of Will and transportation and all kinds of shit. I think we will re-write that scene. I have an idea that should work out pretty well, but I am not going to reveal it just yet.

David did an excellent job as Dr. Sugardale Greenberg. I don't know how he wore that fat guy suit for so long. Brian and I just had to wear blazers for an hour and I was the sweatiest thing ever. We kept fucking up the takes because we'd laugh at David entering the room. He wouldn't even have to say anything...we just saw a fat ass dude with cupcakes and a beard run into a room hootin' and hollerin' and we lost it.

The longest scene of the day was the best by far: Lloyd Kaufman as played by Eli!!!!
Will did a great job with the camera and basically tolerating everyone breaking character so much. It was hard to be serious when Eli had cum all over his face and a huge sandwich in his hands. We wrote a couple of new bits on the spot that are probably going to make it into the final cut. Eli did an incredibly job just remembering that dialogue. Honestly kids, that scene is about 8 pages long. It's nuts.

We also filmed a couple of "In-movie" scenes. The fireplace breakdance scene went well. Sam and Bella did an excellent job. Sam's breakdancing was better than I had expected. The send scene was written that morning by Brian and I before we left the house. It was shitty and unprofessional. We got a piece of scrap paper, wrote some awful lines, storyboarded it out with my horrible drawings, and ended it with a great blowjob.

The scene might actually be the best "In-movie" scene of the Land of Lincoln. It really turned out great.


Editing has proved to be a big faggot. Episode one is running a little over what we had expected. Deciding was gets cut and what stays really sucks. It's like having a bunch of kids and you are trying to squeeze your whole family into a lift. The lift operator says, "Oy! There is too much weight on this lift. We must lighten the load!" So there you are! At first you don't want to toss out a whole child because it's your baby! It's your seed! You pumped your sperm and made that shit a thing with feelings and life. It's an extention of you! So naturally, you do the most humane thing...you cut it's limbs off. One by one. That way the child can remain with you, albeit a bloody stump-bearing shell of its former self, but at least he is by your side! The lift operator says, "Oy! Still too heavy! More more more!" Next thing you know, you are throwing entire children away...in the rubbish bin. Gone forever. It’s quite sad, really.

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work work work.... [10 Aug 2007|12:07pm]
[ mood | thirsty ]

I am on lunch right now at work. I am pretty tired.

When I get home I have to start getting things ready for when we shoot Saturday morning. Hopefully I can squeeze a nap in real quick. Brian is coming in later tonight, so we can get the ball rollin' bright and early.

Saturday will be a big day. Sunday requires an additional location, but hopefully the day will be a little more relaxed after Saturday is wrapped up.

All I know is that I will get my drink on tonight on my porch whilst listening to crooked fingers.

After this weekend we will have literally half a dozen scenes left to shoot. FINALLY!

The 2 dinner scenes at Brian's parents house, a couple scenes of me at Kristine's apt, a couple of scenes of Will at his computer, A PEE-PEE SCENE, and the most difficult scene of them all...duh duh dunnnn...THE GREEN SCREEN scene with Cuauh.

Most of that shit is in later episodes anyway. The first couple can be uploaded without a problem. I can't even remember how many TOTAL scenes there are in all 6 LOL episodes. If I had to guess I would say somewhere between a shit ton and too fucking many.

After this is completed, don't expect nothing from the 4 of us for a while. We might do something small like the Cummy Larry bit or the Furious Wiener featuring yours truly as the Furious One. I still have the rough draft of Ep 1 sitting around at home where there is a shaving accident and a nipple tainted with HIV positive blood ends up in Furious' cereal!

I can't wait to see my friends this weekend.

To everyone I haven't seen, I apologize. I told everyone that this would happen. Spreading myself thin as hell, Jack. I still want another person for a super fun role on Sunday. If anyone is down, they should holler at any of us. Otherwise, we will just have someone shemp it.

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Man what a good fucking album. [05 Aug 2007|11:45am]
[ mood | cheerful ]

Finally taking a job that I really want at work. Well, I have enjoyed my previous positions for the most part, but this is just a sweet gig. I hope I get it. Their only concern is my level of pay at this point. They feel it is too high and he doesn't know what kind of raise he could give with the position at this point. I told dude flat out. I was all, "dude, I don't need a raise. I'll take the job and worry about money in 6 months." Honestly, I will be making MORE money anyway because the Supplement department has a huge labor payout whole we get the shaft in grocery.

The point of the potential job change in a month is that I get to sleep in. No more 6 AM or 5 AM shifts. I would work 9-5 everyday and have weekends off. Every weekend off. Sweet cream dick lick!

Land of Lincoln is at the 75% mark right now, which is cool. I just want to move on already. I am not saying that I am tired of it, it's still fun. I am saying that there are other things we would like to do and as long as our days are still dedicated to finishing this up, we have to postpone everything else.

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A peak into Robert Lange's world [27 Jul 2007|09:14am]
[ mood | cummy ]

Finally, 3 shows that I want to go to!

EMPTY BOTTLE
9/14 & 9/15
OM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
TWO NIGHTS!

EMPTY BOTTLE
Boris & Michio Kurihara

Man, I will do every single drug on the planet before, during, and after these shows. I am pretty stoked taht Boris has a split with Doomriders coming out soon.

So this weekend we are going to be angry and over-worked with the Land of Lincoln. i work tomorrow morning and from there I will be joining the crew to get some exterior shots done at the park near my house. I hope everything goes as planned and by the time I arrive there is a good chunk of footage in the can. I can say do some lines, spit my rhymes, and straight bounce. From there we are going over to David's. He was nice enough to let us use his house WHILE he is away for the weekend. That is the nicest thing ever. Too bad I am going to jerk off on everything there. Including my friends...as long as they get in my way. Major cummage, daddy.

I am really nervous. Actually, nervous isn't the right word. Scared. Yes, scared is more appropriate. I am scared that everything will go wrong and we won't get a thing done and everyone involved will go back to their colleges before we are completed. We really took on a large task when you think about it. We decided this would be an easier route than doing Crazy Eyes, which is half true. Granted it does not require make up, special effects, or substantial amounts of money, but it does take up a lot of time. There are scenes that require a huge cast, and our locations and time are limited. Because everyone involved are friends of ours we are catering to other people's schedules, which would be different if this were a real film with actual $$$$.

With a runtime of approximately 2.5 hours, we are essentially making Titanic this summer. Titanic without a boat.

Sunday morning, before work, we are shooting some stuff at my house. Hopefully we can knock out most of Mickey Bonez's scenes, as well as a cameo by the one and only Christopher Hatem. I can't wait for this, the Land of Lincoln might be on TRL soon once the teenie boppers catch wind that Lovem is a part of this. I had an idea to dress him up as a shitty metal guy to be Mickey's room mate.

I tell you what, doing the Stavros scene is going to be a trip, baby.
Owww Have Mercy!

Later, all.

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fulfillment [14 Jul 2007|02:41am]
[ mood | happy ]

6 days.

6 days of non-stop shooting and we are through.

Are we completely done? Not yet. We are just done for the week.

We will resume in exactly 2 weeks. Until that time there will be much editing to take care of.
We literally have hours and hours of footage. Good takes, bad takes, bloopers, straight actin' a fool...all kinds of stuff. Many of the nights were spent completely exhausted. We pretty much tortured ourselves much of the week. Most of our shooting days were between 8 and 10 hours of straight work. We were lucky if we took a 5 minute break to eat a PB&J or some chex mix in between set-ups. We've been fortunate enough to have so many positive responses from everyone. To anyone who has helped us out in any way during these last 6 days, you can count on me to help you out with anything you need. To have people waste their days off work, or their leisure time, just to stand around all day in the heat, moving microphone stands, working with lighting, or even shooting is a pretty spectacular thing.

I loved shooting all day and watching the dailies at night. When something turned out shitty, we kicked ourselves and knew we could just do it again tomorrow, but when something turned out amazing...god, the feeling that came over me was indescribable.

I can safely say that a good 70% of the scenes are completed as of now. That is 70% out of a couple of hundred pages of dialogue. I think that is a pretty remarkable thing. We kind of learned as we went along. I can write out a laundry list of problems that were thrown our way during this last week, but somehow, everything worked out.

I am anxious to finish. Now that I know we are close to done, I don't want to stop. At the same time, I want to sit and relax for a minute. Maybe just to ground myself and realize that we are just a bunch of kids having fun, sleeping on floors, trying to make a sitcom and that I need to return to the real world in 2 days.

If nothing comes of all our hard work, the memories will be worth it. I feel closer to these guys now than I ever have before. We have stories to tell and enough inside jokes to last for years.

Thanks, guys.

Thanks, friends.

Robert Alan Lange

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update on my life. [11 Jul 2007|07:07pm]
[ mood | busy ]

This is pretty much my first day back from Shorewood. We all returned yesterday and crashed. We were all exhausted from shooting, shitty diets, bad sleeping arrangements, and lack of sleep overall. Today we had a light day...we only shot for about 5 hours. In that period, we got a ton of stuff done. The last 4 days have turned out excellent. I hope the remaining 4 are equally awesome. We should be cutting some type of teaser trailer in about a week, but sadly the first episode is lacking a scene that we might not be able to shoot until next week at the earliest due to scheduling.

I am pleased with everything.

It's all been worth it.

Thanks to my partners in crime and the Tasch family for housing us and letting us make a mess. Thanks to Kevin, Guillermo (not!!! :) ), Eddie, Sam, and Liam for all of their help.

I feel like sleeping for hours, but we filmed some scenes this afternoon and we completely ruined my kitchen. There is milk, oranges, and fake vomit everywhere. I need to go mop. It's going to be nice to actually have a quiet evening at home for a change. We have really gone into this thing balls deep and I don't know how those other guys are feeling, but I am tired. It's worth it though. We are having a blast.

Later, friends.

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Land of Lincoln update for anyone that matters. [28 Jun 2007|01:34pm]
[ mood | amused ]

I am at work trying to print out all of these updated Land of Lincoln scripts. I have this one boss that is a nerdy looking faggot and I think he was getting suspicious about what I was printing out. I mean, this printer is sort of loud and printing out 195 pages worth of text is a bit suspect to say the least. I only printed until page 95, then later I will go back and print the last 100. I am slick, daddy!

Over the last week we added a new character. Two characters actually. One is Mickey Bonez, Brian's friend from High School and full-blown loser. He and Brian never left their town and went on to do anything great with their lives more than a decade after graduating High School. Mickey is the lead-vocalist of a metal band named SEXUAL INTERFORCE. They are making their comeback after their drummer was just released after 6 yrs of prison.

The second character is Stavros, Brian's next door neighbor. He is of European descent. He appears to be unemployed and resorts to yardsales and sexy car washes as fundraisers.

The week of July 8th - 16th, we are shooting a ton. A ton. The first couple of days will take place in Shorehood at Brian's house with his family. The rest of the week will take place at my apartment which Gual and Brian's characters are using as their apartment. Anyone that we talked to about being an actor might not be needed this week. We are trying to knock out all of our scenes first, but who knows. If anyone is available, you are more than welcome to drop in and say what's up or if you are handy with a camera or a boom mic...you can help out!

Monday the dudes got into chat together and we finished up Crazy Eyes for good. We added some Troma-esque crazyness and mailed it out to Lloyd Kaufman. I got an email from him this morning, but he hasn't received it yet. I am sure it will arrive either tomorrow or saturday. Man, I really hope he likes it. I don't know what it means if he likes it, other than it would just be cool. Really cool.

Anyway, I went through a couple episodes last night and wrote down all the scenes for the episodes and what we can film first. For example, in Ep 6 there are 42 total scenes and 28 of those scenes we can easily shoot during the week of the 8th-16th. I am basically keeping track of all the scenes that either involve just the 4 of us, or are interviews that don't require fancy locations.

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pound your drinks! Tonight we shred! [20 Jun 2007|07:48pm]
[ mood | busy ]



I did this once before (I think), but I am doing it again anyway. Here is my buddy Sam's sitcom, Joe Blows Kids.



Here goes the 20/20 special report on Joe Blows Kids. Gual is amazing in this.

Ok, now lets fill you all in on Robert Alan Lange's life!

My boss got fired today. That is good news. He was an idiot, but he did make me laugh. He just made bad decisions as of late.

Robot Mosh in a week. I can't wait to see Arsis, Decapitated, Necrophagist, An End To Flesh, Beneath the Massacre, Black Dahlia Murder, The Tony Danza Tap Dance Extravaganza, A Life Once Lost, and Veil of Maya.

I wish Mickey was going :(

I am going to the tattoo parlour Friday night to finally get some shit done. I've put it off for so long. Mostly because I think it makes your body look sinner...

Sike.

Land of Lincoln is completely done being written including two great new characters that are minor roles. They are both equally amazing and I wish I could play them.

Casting seems to be going well. I am sure we're still going to have to do most of the work. Oh well, it's all good.

A good chunk of the shooting will be going down July 8th - July 16th both in Shorewood and at my apartment in Ravenswood. It should work out pretty cool. William's birthday is the 7th so we are all going to party it up for the big guy and I am going to fu- er give him a big gift!

That night will rule. Chances are we will be in Shorewood that night since we want to knock out the Shorewood stuff first. Filming the Tasch family dinner scenes are going to be the most fun ever.

Sending Crazy Eyes out to Troma in a few days after some back and forth talking with Mr. Lloyd Kaufman. We'll wait and see how that goes.

Along with shooting LOL (hey, that's new...i will not call it land of lincoln anymore LMAO!) we've got some cool ideas for extending An Evening With The Living Dead as a full length. Right now it's not long enough. I love the story the way it is now, and I think the changes will be good.

In fall '07 expect Furious Wiener 5 minute shorts to make their debut on the internets. I have one episode done. It's been done for a while now. We are just trying to do so much already that we don't want to spread ourselves too thin.

Right now I am going to go sit in the living room and make the final changes to Crazy Eyes.

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the greatest entry ever! [12 Jun 2007|12:50pm]


This is currently my favorite picture on Earth. I want to marry you.

The last few days have been alright. I drank some beers and saw some friends...not so bad.

My nephew graduated 8th grade yesterday. 8th grade. I can't believe how they have grown up. It's cool, though. I dig. He's not that shitty of a kid. He likes metal and skateboards, so that's fine by me.

After I leave work in a couple of hours I won't be doing shit for the rest of the day or all day tomorrow. If anyone wants to see me, you know where I will be.

If I don't go out I might just hang out around the house writing music or something.

I think I might go see Eagle Vs Shark Friday.

Ring of Honor in 11 days!

I had the most fun at work this morning messing with this guy named Josh on my team. Turns out this dude grew up in Brazil because his parents were living there before returnign to America. I felt like messing with him and creating a running theme that I can add on to throughout the day as a fun way to pass time. I began filling him in on everything he missed in America in the early 90's while he was in that dump Brazil.

First of I had to fill him in on the entire LA riot Fiasco. I told him about what happened to the black guy by the white cops, then how those sweet ass black dudes bricked that hillbilly in the face and danced. Then everyone stole tvs and set big fires.

Also! I had to fill him in on the OJ Simpson trial, as well as the infamous white bronco chase that took place while the 1994 NBA FINALS were taking place.

Other awesome things he missed:

The Bulls 3-Peat
Jordan sneaker craze
Mario Go-Kart
Sega Channel
Hulkamania runnin' wild
Contra
Bubble Bobble
Megaman
Charles Barkley Shut Up and Jam
Pogs
The first 2 Batman movies
The first 2 House Party Movies
Hi-C Ecto Cooler Punch Drink feauturing Slimer on the front
Marc Sommer's Double Dare
Goosebumps TV show
Power Rangers
Moon Shoes
Nerf guns
Super soakers
Domino Rally
Mouse Trap board game
Virtualboy gameboy console
Dr. Dre's the chronic record
Snoop Dogg's doggystyle
Doug the cartoon
Ninja Turtles
Full House
Noid commericals for dominos pizza
Eagle Man insurance tv commercials
Mc Hammer
Vanilla Ice
Encino Man

there are like a million more things, too...

the early 90s were way better than now
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hey, kids! [27 May 2007|01:40pm]

I've said it before and I will say it again...
I would kill to have a job at character development of some shitty Pro Wrestling league. God, I would do such a great job! Lobsterman has always been one of my favorites. Look at this fat fuck!

I think I would be a manager if I could. I have the gift of gab on my side. I can't be Bobby The Brain Lange, so maybe I can be "Sweet 'N' Sour" Robbie Lange. Man, I would probably walk around with some type of wand, maybe I would call it my powerbar, and I would use it to make my man win.

I guess I can always be Ichabod Slain. I would totally do the sleep hallow thing.

Anyway, enough stupid wrestling talk!

I leave for New York in a day. There are a lot of my friends I wish I could have seen before this, but I will be back shortly. I miss my bros more than anything. We will party hard in a week.

All 6 episodes of the Land of Lincoln are complete and I am really excited to start. I will be shooting some footage while I am in NYC for the show. The guys will be taking care of some other shit while I am gone. This summer is going to be fun. Brian not moving out was a monkey wrench thrown into our plans, but I think we can overcome. Listen fellas, next saturday day/night, after I return, let's get down to business. Maybe we can review my footage or just build a fort in my backyard? Let me know, William, Gual, and Brian.

We need some roles to be filled, preferably by friends who are willing to do anything for art!
The roles are not that lengthy, they are as follows:

any missing characters (ie Rob, Will, Brian, Gual, Nick, Kitty, Robin, Gabe) are not listed because they have been filled, duh!

rich - He comes to audition for the male lead in the film
frank - He comes to audition for the male lead in the film
jason - He comes to audition for the male lead in the film
zach - He comes to audition for the male lead in the film
casey - The final choice for the role of "Lincoln" in the film. Casey is gay...literally
michelle - minor female role
april - The original female lead in the film. Requires one small Bra shot.
liam - minor male role
amanda - The replacement female lead. A party girl like no other.
sound guy - Minor role. He is fired by Brian and later replaced by Gabe.
extra diane - Minor female role
extra frisbee 1 - Dude playing frisbee with his buddies.
extra frisbee 2 - Dude playing frisbee with his buddies.
extra frisbee 3 - Dude playing frisbee with his buddies.
lighting guy - Small male part.
crew member 1 - Small speaking role, may require only one day of shooting.
crew member 2 - Small speaking role, may require only one day of shooting.
extra 1 - Very minor role
extra 2 - Very minor role
Dr. Greenberg - We need a fat friend, or a friend that will be willing to pad his clothes to look fat for this role. The role is minor, but is quite funny. Whomever is casted for this role will probably get to wear eyeglasses and a big fake beard! Also, I will shag you.
lloyd kaufman - Hopefully he will be played by himself. If not, we may need a friend to step in and act like the craziest old jewish man you can ever imagine! Don't worry about over acting, he is really like what is written.

There you have it, kids! Pass the word to friends or whatever. We would really prefer working with people we know personally simply because this isn't a major production. Well, we are not planning on pressing dvds or anything. They will be online and hopefully nerds laugh.

Email me @ xthemusicdiedx@yahoo.com or comment on this post. If you want to play a role, even if it is a small part, you will be guaranteed to have the most fun of your life! If anyone wants help out in any other way, whether that is holding a boom mic, holding a light, or just helping us with locations would be amazing. Most locations are easy, but we might need a decent looking "office" for Dr Greenberg and Kaufman, possibly. Not anything fancy, a home office would suffice. If anyone has a parent that wouldn't mind letting 4 kids shoot in a room for a few hours, let me know.

Anyway, I will see you kids when I return. If I am MIA this summer, I will be working on LAND OF LINCOLN. If anyone wants some of Robert Alan Lange in their lives, they should help out. Otherwise you probably won't see me ever.

Love, peace, and chicken grease.
RL
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porno and waffles. [20 May 2007|05:44am]
[ mood | pleased ]

I am here at work right now updating this piece because I have 2 amazing things to share.

Well, not really amazing. One is amazing, and the other is just stupid.

Firstly, yesterday I had to calm down a shitty customer on the phone. She was 42 years old and she told me that her boyfriend was giving her a rub down when he found some cellulite. She told me to go and get a box of waffles for her and read the ingredients...I did. The ingredients are simple as hell. No wheat, no dairy, no eggs. Probably the healthiest waffle you can eat, I guess. The last ingredient in the waffles is guar gum. She stopped me and said, "why do y'all put that shit in there, it's bad for you. It's giving me cellulite!" For anyone who doesn't know, guar gum is a thickener/binding agent. It's a plant-based food that is used in bubble gum or anything else as an egg replacement. I told the bitch, I says, "look bitch, these are healthy, man. If you have cellulite, it's definitely not from guar gum. Maybe it's from the other stuff you put on your waffles? Ya know, butter and syrup?"

She goes, "oh yeah, maybe. I doubt it, though."

"Well, I'm sorry. I am not a doctor, so I can't really say for sure. If you want a refund you can bring it back, but I'm telling you with 100% certainty that guar gum does not cause cellulite."

"I don't know. For about a month I binged on Haagen Daaz Butter Pecan Ice Cream..."

"I hate to be the one to break this to you, but there is your culprit. Maybe you shouldn't eat so much ice cream."


The end. She started off pissed them I made her love me.

The second thign that happened to me, happened about a half hour ago and it was amazing!

I was walking to work sipping a coffee, kind of stari ng at the ground while I walk, like I always do when I see a vagina on the ground!

It was a picture from a magazine of a big, gaping vagina. I said, "Hmm, what is this pussy on the ground???"

I looked up and noticed that every car on my side of the street had a graphic sex act torn from an adult magazine and stuck to every windshield.

I thought maybe 5 or 6 cars would have it. I was wrong. It stretched from Armitage & Sheffield all the way down Sheffield to Clybourn. That's a little over 2 blocks.

That totally made my day. Sometimes life is pretty great.

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Robert Lange is dead [08 May 2007|08:17am]
[ mood | jealous ]

Well, not really. Someday? Yes, definitely.

How will I be remembered?

I was taking a break at work and I went to yahoo to check my email and I saw a headline about a boxer dying. I read the article and one of his friends had the best quote ever for him! I am not poking fun at this dude's death by any means, but man, if you are going to die it would be worth it to have your friends hype you up this much!

I am jealous.

I wonder what my dudes and dudettes would say about me when I die?

Here is the quote with my name in place of ol' boys...

"Robert Lange lived an 'X Games lifestyle,' " his promoter, Gary Shaw said. "He was a true warrior. He did everything hard and fast. He loved anything to the extreme. He was the kind of guy in the ring you never had to worry about quitting. I don't know how many times he would say, 'They'll have to kill me first.' "


Someone remember to say something sweet about me, ok? I will do the same for you.

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movies! [07 May 2007|08:20pm]
[ mood | happy ]



Ok, so there is no point to this entry other than this 5 minute clip of Poultrygeist. This is the first 5 minutes of the film. It is beyond cheesy and I love it. God, how I wish I was there for the filming.



here goes the official trailer!



Class of Nuke 'Em High just for kicks.



OH MY FUCKING GOD! EVERYONE NEEDS TO WATCH THIS!
This is from Guiseppe Andrews short film "Period Piece."
It's amazing.



Mr Andrews in what is one of the best scenes in film history.

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"you're top priority. you're the party man!" [06 May 2007|12:34pm]
[ mood | indifferent ]



I want to be him for halloween this year.







I spent most of last night working on homework and studying for my finals. I ended up taking a break to watch Class of Nuke 'Em High and took some notes on it. I love that film so much. I want to make a Troma film so bad. It makes me think of a couple summers ago when Will and I wanted to go volunteer on Poultrygeist. We would have either got fed up and quit, worked hard and got IMDB pages, eat cheese sandwiches all day, and definitely get STDs. That's a definite. An absolute truth.

My wisdom tooth is killing me. They all came in fine except for one...it is still cuttign through. Man, does this shit hurt. No wonder babies cry all day. Faggots.

Tonight is BYAM's show. Should be fun. Afterwards I have to go and get some last minute studying done. Finals tomorrow....blah whatever.

work sucks.

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